Nancy Darlene Brinser

DOB: October 27, 1947

DOD: August 13, 2022

Eulogy by her loving husband Earl

In the Beginning

My first recollection of Nancy was at a May Day celebration at the Poplar Street Elementary School (previously the High School) I remember she caught my eye, did not know who she was, but made an impression.

She was cute and had a great smile.

Appeared bashful.

When in seventh grade together, we were in many of the same classes, and she sat near me in the next row.

She was an easy tease... was I flirting? She would laugh embarrassingly.That was the extent of my social interchange with a girl.Our first date was she surprisingly invited me to a Girl Scout dance, to be held at the Boy Scout building.

I did not impress her dad. I was not home when they arrived to pick me up.All I remember was walking to town for a new pair of shoes and left a message with my mother that I would meet her at the dance. We did meet there and had a good time.

It was in tenth grade when we had our first of many dates, courting.I had a car, a job. She was also a cheerleader, rooting for me at wrestling matches. Little did I know she would become my life's cheerleader.

We dated through high school and college. She was my "high school sweetheart", the "love of my life". On December 18, 1967 Nancy and I became WE, and since that time, We were US. We were wed at St Paul's UMC in Elizabethtown.We went to NYC for our honeymoon.

We had two sons, Marc Earl, middle name for my dad, as I am a Jr, and Donald Eric, first name for Nancy's dad.

She was in labor 3 days for each son, with Marc at St Joseph's hospital in Lancaster, where she had much labor pain with no epidural.

However, the 3 days she was in the Hershey Medical Center with Eric, she was promised an epidural when they finally induced labor.

After each delivery, she was exhausted, but despite this she had the pleased, proud beautiful smile that she had given me boys.

She never looked more beautiful. Well, she always looked beautiful. I loved her so much.

The early years

I think Marc coined the phrase, but not sure, and he is not either,but someone described US as "connected at the hip".We both liked that reputation, and felt we would set the standard for

a married couple and to set the example for our sons.

For me, Nancy set the bar pretty high. As Jack Nicholson said to Helen Hunt in "As Good As It Gets", Nancy made me " want to be a better man".

I grew up with Nancy. We were old fashioned in our roles as US, a married couple with children.

I was the provider, working two jobs much of the time. She was the homemaker and nurturer of our children, a job that is more than the equivalent of two jobs.

Nancy always had a special relationship with young people. I would teach them to play ball, etc. but she could communicate with them and have fun. She did not play to win, she played to have fun, to laugh and interact.

She was this way with our sons, and then had a special relationship with each of Marc's and Eric's friends. She could talk with them, and, perhaps listened, perhaps gave advice. I received cards from their friends that she was like a second mother to them.

Extending the family

Our sons married and now we have 4 grandchildren, a girl and 3 boys.

Grandchildren are the next most joyous adventure one can have.

I have heard many a grandparent say they should have skipped children.

Grandchildren are a different joy. You can spoil them and give them back to their parents.

Again, Nancy had a special relationship, particularly with the boys. Each was unique, she could communicate, laugh and joke with them. She would watch movies and talk and laugh, over and over.

Movies like ELF and Water Boy were especially shows they could watch repeatedly and laugh, have fun, eat popcorn, and just enjoy each other's company.

If played games, she would talk tease, laugh and have fun. Winning was not her goal. She loved her grandchildren. She could talk on the phone for an hour and do the same, talk, joke, laugh and have fun.

I envied her that as I was always the straight man.

One of the best Mother's Day cards was from Austin. The card said she was like a "second mother to him". She treasured this thought....and truth be said, she was.

Settling in

Nancy and I lived in a few different homes before we purchased our first home, a semidetached house,a fixer upper.

The price was right and needed a lot of work.

It was all we could afford on my teacher's salary of $6400 / year...which was more than my dad ever made as a painter at the Masonic Homes (Villages).

It was a lot of work.

Nancy helped with expenses by babysitting. It helped a lot...we ate hotdogs and SPAM and Saturday night specials at the ACME, where I worked part time. We struggled, but we did it together.

She was wonderful. At the time needs were more important than wants...that changed with time, and I never forgot how she went without so much till we could afford the wants and encouraged her to buy what pleased her. She was still thrifty.

I taught school 6 years at the Derry Township Hershey High School. Coached wrestling with Henry "Red " Campbell who was quite a man, family man and father figure to his wrestlers.I had a lot of respect for him and his family.

Moving forward

Those 6 years were good, we were making it.I longed to be a physician.I was accepted to PCOM for entering class of 1975-79.

We moved to Elkins Park and I attended PCOM.Nancy continued to care for our sons and

continued to babysit.Somehow, we made it, with debt of course.We then moved back to Elizabethtownand started practice in Mt Joy, ultimately acquiring a practice in Lebanon where we Practiced 1981 thru 2013.Nancy was the office manager.

We struggled at first re turf, who was in charge.Ultimately, she was the office manager and I the medicine man.Office management carried with it many demands.This was quite stressful.It exaggerated her chronic pain syndrome, Fibromyalgia.I tried to fire her, but she insisted she was the office managerand did the hiring and firing.

No meds helped the fibromyalgia pain, and she suffered with this all her adult life.Often it was disabling.I was glad when she retired in 2013 as we closed the practice, the only way to have fired her.

She had a great relationship with patients as they checked out.They would converse with her for 15 minutes or moreabout self, family or issues they faced. Many cards reflected this interaction.

One patient in particular was with the wife of a retired, deceased minister, also named Nancy T.She needed something to do. She wanted to continue in her work for the Lord. She had called the Good Samaritan Hospital attempting to volunteer in the pastoral services, but was getting nowhere and could not get her foot in the door.

She confided with Nancy B, who immediately phoned the ministerindicating we were friends with the pastor in charge.Nancy B spoke to the minister, indicating the background of our patient, Nancy T who had a strong background in witnessing and comforting, and the asset she would be, and she was hired (volunteer) on the spot.Nancy T was forever thrilled and grateful. I think it extended her life.I could not be more proud of my Nancy's efforts and her part in the practice.She made a difference in the lives of many.

A card from Russ and Sher Davis reflects "Nancy touched so many people when they needed a kind word or smile at the office.
She was a constant who probably never realized how much she helped us all".

You two were 'the perfect team' to serve the patients who came to you.

Nancy often found a way to compliment others.

She would tell others how nice they looked with their hair or jewelryor dress or pocketbook or shoes or nails.

She did this quite frequently.

And if in someone's home, she commented on how nicely it was decorated.

Travel

Nancy loved to travel. We most often went to the Walt Disney World, taking family with us. To Nancy, family was most of what mattered. She was full of so much love for her family...me, her sons and their families and our grandchildren. So many fond memories of our trips to WDW.

We traveled to Mount Rushmore for our 50th anniversary. She had always wanted to go there. We loved it...the only regret was that we did not see any buffalo. We talked about a return trip.

Our Viking cruise in Europe was wonderful, a side trip to Norway was also most enjoyable. We had hoped to do it again. And possibly visit Italy. Future plans included Mackinac Island, Michigan and to revisit her favorite shore location, Stone Harbor.

The Belle

We did not attend many high school reunions, but we did attend the 50th in 2015. Nancy looked "WOW".

She was fantastic. In fact, male classmates were talking with her a lot. She loved it. She said some men asked how she met me. They did not recognize her as my high school sweetheart. On the way home, I told her she was the "Belle of the Ball". She loved it. And she did look fantastic.

One of the cards I received was from our HS class president, Rick Barr who lives on the west coast. He knew Nancy, I think he knew everyone. He recalled "chatting" with her, and he told her"quietly and honestly" that he thought "she held her age better and looked younger than all the women who attended the reunion" and "she just smiled at me". His comforting words were "seashells remind us that every passing life leaves something beautiful behind".

I reviewed the stages of grief by Elizabeth Kubler Ross and David Kessler to gain a reminder and understanding of what to expect.

I received a card from another classmate, Ty Greiner and his wife which summarized my future...words by the above EKR and DK.

"The reality is that you will grieve forever.

You will not get over the loss of a loved one.

You will learn to live with it.

You will heal and you will rebuild yourself around the loss you have suffered.

You will be whole again, but you will never be the same.

Nor should you be the same,

Nor would you want to"

Then Marion Metzler texted something that defines Nancy…

"At the end of lifewhat really matters it not what we bought but what we build

not what we got but what we shared

not our competence but our character

and not our success but our significance.

Live a life that matters.

Live a life of Love"

I received kind words from Kim, Matt and Jake Sherker

Nancy was a "bright spot at Friday night football games and made them more fun."

The love you shared was inspiring.

You (two) made us smile as you looked after each other.

If I could define Love, it would be Nancy.

Nancy's other interests

Nancy enjoyed several movies some of which she found to be comforting in the theme or the music. If she could not sleep, she would listen to the movie "Out of Africa" with Meryl Streep and Robert Redfordor the movie Hawaii with Julie Andrews or Nights in Rodanthewith Richard Gere and Diane Lane.

Her favorite TV shows were the food channel shows with the Barefoot Contessa or Chopped or Beat Bobby Flay...she hated to have him lose.

She loved shows about animals as care of animals in the zoos and Dr. Jeff...a Vet

We loved musical plays, and the stage and would attend shows in NYC or locally...Lebanon, Hershey, and Dutch Apple.

My favorites were Jekyll and Hyde with Robert Cuciolli who we must have seen 4-6 times and even met after a show. The Phantom of the Opera is another favorite where we once sat in NYC's front row, dead center, and could talk to the conductor.

The Jersey Boys was the last show we saw in Lancaster's Fulton after seeing the show in NYC, Phila & Hershey. We had tickets to see "uncle" Rod Stewart after waiting about 3 years with the pandemic. He was a favorite.

My favorite, Les Misérables, became one of hers when the movie was produced starring one of her favorite actors, Hugh Jackman who we also saw in NYC, live, with front row center seats. She loved the live show.

Les Misérables has a line in it by Victor Hugo " to love another person is to see the face of God". This is how I feel about Nancy.

Nancy enjoyed dancing. When feeling a little better and with the right music on TV.

She could get frisky and come over to me smiling and with a wiggle of her hips invite me to dance…could be slow or jitterbug.

We would dance in the living room where not much room but within 10 seconds, Bailey (Nancy's baby and my big boy puppy-now 7 years old) was pawing my leg while on his hind legs.

I picked him and we would dance a little longer either slow or fast, ending with a "group hug".

We loved to do this.

Nancy loved hugs and kisses.

Started and ended each day with hugs and kisses…sometimes a brief kiss and sometimes prolonged.

Same with hugs.

We also had many of each in between. Never tired of them

Also, wave goodbye from the car with the hand sign for "I Love you".

Phone calls also always ended with "I Love You".

I love her. She was so full of love that it overflowed. Family always came first to her.

She was self-sacrificing.

Her only limitation was the pain she endured and was so courageous in facing except when it was disabling.

She tried so hard to enjoy life, loved life, and loved her family beyond compare.

I shall forever love and miss Nancy, my love.

Nancy was a beautiful woman, in many ways.

She was my precious wife for 55 years.

I have the faith that she is in the arms of our Lord, Jesus Christ, and in no pain. That she suffers no more.

Nancy is Love

As God is Love

My Loving memories in

Celebration of Nancy's Life

XO❤️🤟

Earl